Mutiny Magazine Issue #15

Issue #15 With Cover image of Captain Jamie Bellows. Read it here: http://mutinymagazine.net/register?view=login — with Oberon Seliceo The King of the Pirates.

A Pirate Service Announcement from Mutiny Magazine.

Because tomorrow is such a colossal holiday (nigh as colossal as Talderoy's kitten) and we don't want any of ye doing it wrong, please remember these few but oh, so important, Protocols of Pirattitude:

Firstly: You can't talk like a pirate if you don't also smell like a pirate, so refrain from showering or even going near soap tomorrow. Hell, skip that shower tonight and you'll be ahead of the game tomorrow with a wooden leg up on all the competition!

Secondly: Your pirate-speak will be uberly unconvincing if your breath does not reek of liquor -or at least reek- so brushing your teeth is forbidden, as well. Again, if ye enact that toothpaste prohibition tonight, then by the time ye awaken at sunrise noon tomorrow ye'll already be in finest form for Smell Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Lastly: Don't even worry about repelling the womenfolk with your lacking of oral and bodily hygiene, after all; if a wench rejects ye just because ye smell like a pit of stale bilge water, well, she probably wasn't drunk enough to have gone home with you anyway!

For something more substantial and informative, visit Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy's official site for Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Godspeed and enjoy the parties!
-Bullet and the Mutiny Crew


Missed any Mutiny News updates? Find them all HERE!  

What's So Cool About Mutiny Magazine #4?

Well, since you asked...

The resolute Cap'n Slappy, the uber-tactful Wench Whisperer,  Lycan pursued by alligators, Kendra escapes to a deep-sea orgy, Talderoy presents Stynky Tudor, Captain Dave inks, Don Ron Brown drinks, mermaidens, sharks, the Royaliste returns and possibly even a few radiant particles of awesome which i have refrained from mentioning here. Go ahead. Discover. NOW! 

Some Things Just Aren't Worthy...

... of being in Mutiny Magazine.

    Sure. They told me it was an "uploading problem," that my video from the Portland Pirate Festival "couldn't be converted to a useable format," hence couldn't be included in Issue #3. But i know the real reason: it just wasn't good enough.

    Mutiny Magazine: where even pirates have standards.

Fortunately, Mutiny News has no standards at all. Enjoy!

-Bullet (yes, i began a sentence with "But" because i'm just that illiterate).


Missed any Mutiny News updates? Find them all HERE .

Is Solomon Kane Screening Tonight in Los Angeles?

Well, this is last f**king minute but the Solomon Kane movie's Facebook page has just announced a FREE screening tonight at the AMC Theaters in Santa Monica. Mind you, this was posted just a few hours ago and also listed two screenings for last night (so fire up your time-machines if you want to make those ones). i recommend phoning the theater before going and take no responsibility for the veracity of this information.

Godspeeding that direction (possibly) -Bullet

Missed any previous Mutiny News updates? They're all HERE .

Would Mutiny Miss the Portland Pirate Festival? Would Talderoy Floss?!!

On your Word! The Mutiny Crew will be dropping an anchor on Portland's head this very weekend! Keep your good eye open for Jules Evermore (the Ale Hunter), Bullet Valmont (Wench Whisperer), Lycan (our wolf-cub reporter), Capt. Dave (Blackbeard's Tattoo Parlor), Tony Swatton (Sword and the Stone), Armond and Steve (The Gentlemen of Fortune), Jose Menendez (straight out of the Captain's Closet), and possibly even the mighty Talderoy himself.
    Importune us with your best, most insincere pleadings and you'll score yourself a shiny new Mutiny Magazine sticker (whilst they last)!! Go now: PortlandPirateFestival.com .

Missed any previous Mutiny News updates? Find them HERE! 

Mutiny Magazine Issue #2 Has Landed!

Go now...

Mutiny Magazine .com 

Read free, read fearlessly...

-Talderoy, Lycan, Bullet, and the Mutiny Crew.

Missed any previous updates? Find them at: Mutiny News .

Eine kleine ANTmusik: Hoist the Jolly Roger...

In pirate news of late, the world waits anxiously for the first album in 17 years from the New Romantic Blitz Kid musical pirate Adam Ant. It'll be coming any day now but Mutiny issue #2 will be here first, i assure ye!

     And, because the rest of the crew have sailed off to the Buccaneer's Ball tonight leaving me marooned on Mutiny Island and thus inclined to reckless musical indulgence, allow me to Stand and Deliver some classic Ant Music for ye. Beat my Guest and enjoy..!!

Missed any previous updates? Find them at: Mutiny Magazine News 

Yours in Anthood. -Bullet

Aye! The Ale Hunter is the Coolest Pirate that ever Drank!

Parched for a prelibationous peek at what's coming in Issue #2 of Mutiny Magazine? Well, since instant gratification is the Mutiny way, behold!

We realize that, having just witnessed the Ale Hunter in all his naked barley, ye may be experiencing a groupie-esque stirring betwixt your thighs now, and an urge to stalk him in person. (such feelings are most understandable,  trollops ladies). And fortune smiles upon you because stalk him you may. Indeed, you can meet the Ale Hunter himself, as well as Talderoy and others of the Mutiny crew, tomorrow evening at the Buccaneer's Ball ! (yes, that's a link, click on it for details, go ahead, do it NOW!)

Missed any previous updates? Find them at: Mutiny Magazine News 

Rum's the word.. except, of course, when Ale's the word.

-Bullet

Mutiny Magazine to crash Buccaneer's Ball this weekend !!

Be warned! This very weekend several of the Mutiny crew will be steering the bad ship Rummypop into the port of Lake Arrowhead, CA. to drop anchor at the Buccaneer's Ball!
    Indeed, our own Bosun Talderoy himself will be attending! The Ale Hunter will be imbibing! And the Gentlemen of Fortune and Fine Cuisine will be sampling the various and fermented as they walk that liquor-soaked ratline betwixt "That's a great idea!" and "What the hell happened?"
    Musical entertainments include the bands There Be Pirates, Mr. Mac and the Mermaids, Oaken Hearts, and Megan Doyle. 
    For more information/tickets just go here: Buccaneer's Ball 
   
That be your Mutiny News of the moment. Until next time... 
Rum's the word!  -Bullet

Missed any previous updates? Find them at: Mutiny Magazine News

Mutiny Magazine Stickers!! (Yes, piracy just got way more cool!)

For all those Mutineers and Mutinettes who wish to procure their own Mutiny Magazine sticker -without having to arm wrestle Talderoy for it- all ye have to do is send a self-addressed and stamped envelope to:

Mutiny Sticker 

c/o Studio City Tattoo 

 11032 Ventura Blvd. 

Studio City, CA. 91603.

    Stickers are 4 1/4 x 5 1/2" so send a big enough envelope! (folded stickers forfeit pirate points) On my word, the mighty and generous Talderoy himself will personally send ye back a sticker of your very own which you may then affix to your car, boat, face, or any other place of pretentious conspicuity, thus to ostentatiously flaunt your superior coolness to the envious eyes of lesser pirates. And, oh, how they'll wish they were you!

Mary Widow says: "All the cool pirates have one!"

Missed any previous updates? Find them on our Mutiny Blog: Mutiny Magazine News 

Godspeed. -Bullet

Mutiny's Lycan at Marked Men IV aboard the HMS Surprise

Whilst yer counting down the nine or so days remaining until the launch of Issue #2, do enjoy Mutiny's own wolf-cub reporter, Lycan, in this pirate-on-the-street report from the Marked Men IV party aboard the tall-ship HMS Surprise.

Missed any previous updates? Find them on our Mutiny Blog: Mutiny Magazine News 

Godspeed ye, every one.

-Bullet