A Pirate Service Announcement from Mutiny Magazine.

Because tomorrow is such a colossal holiday (nigh as colossal as Talderoy's kitten) and we don't want any of ye doing it wrong, please remember these few but oh, so important, Protocols of Pirattitude:

Firstly: You can't talk like a pirate if you don't also smell like a pirate, so refrain from showering or even going near soap tomorrow. Hell, skip that shower tonight and you'll be ahead of the game tomorrow with a wooden leg up on all the competition!

Secondly: Your pirate-speak will be uberly unconvincing if your breath does not reek of liquor -or at least reek- so brushing your teeth is forbidden, as well. Again, if ye enact that toothpaste prohibition tonight, then by the time ye awaken at sunrise noon tomorrow ye'll already be in finest form for Smell Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Lastly: Don't even worry about repelling the womenfolk with your lacking of oral and bodily hygiene, after all; if a wench rejects ye just because ye smell like a pit of stale bilge water, well, she probably wasn't drunk enough to have gone home with you anyway!

For something more substantial and informative, visit Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy's official site for Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Godspeed and enjoy the parties!
-Bullet and the Mutiny Crew


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Miraculous Powers of Talderoy's New Tattoo...

What is the secret of Talderoy's new tattoo? Does it contain the key to a lost civilization? Is it a navigational chart thru inter-dimensional portals wherein the soul's salvation may, at last, be achieved? Perhaps a map to the fabled isle of Virgin Nada? Or could it be the encrypted version of Captain Kidd's privateering commission? Only Talderoy knows for sure, and i don't dare ask him. Do you???

 Every future winning lottery number is encoded in this rendering by Captain Davey Jonzen

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