Firstly: You can't talk like a pirate if you don't also smell like a pirate, so refrain from showering or even going near soap tomorrow. Hell, skip that shower tonight and you'll be ahead of the game tomorrow with a wooden leg up on all the competition!
Secondly: Your pirate-speak will be uberly unconvincing if your breath does not reek of liquor -or at least reek- so brushing your teeth is forbidden, as well. Again, if ye enact that toothpaste prohibition tonight, then by the time ye awaken at
Lastly: Don't even worry about repelling the womenfolk with your lacking of oral and bodily hygiene, after all; if a wench rejects ye just because ye smell like a pit of stale bilge water, well, she probably wasn't drunk enough to have gone home with you anyway!
For something more substantial and informative, visit Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy's official site for Talk Like A Pirate Day.
-Bullet and the Mutiny Crew
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